March 16th will always be a special day for me.  This was the day Bob and I got married nine years ago on a stunning beach in Maui, right on the Pacific Ocean, with my beautiful family in attendance.

Obviously this year will be very different for me, as it was last year when we as a family were facing Bob’s illness.  In fact this day last year was memorable, not because of our anniversary, but because Bob and I had booked ourselves into a downtown Toronto hotel where we would stay together during some of Bob’s radiation treatment.  I have fond memories of this time because we really did become hermits with each other, holing up in the hotel room, trying to forget about the world outside our door.  We watched movies in each other’s arms.  There was no doubt about our love for each other.  None.  We were soulmates.

This year I will be without Bob.  I will be in Vancouver, Washington attending the NTA conference.  I will be carrying memories about Bob with me in my heart.  I will miss him as I do every day.  I will feel blessed to have had him in a bigger than life way for the years I did have him.  I will treasure so many moments for which I am grateful.  Then I will pull out a letter Bob wrote me and another that I wrote him.  And though the emotions will be deep and sometimes painful I will feel blessed to have had the chance to know someone as fine as Bob Kennedy.  Finally, I will write Bob a letter telling him how I am doing, sharing my heart with him, as I would do every night when he was alive.  There will be tears and smiles and maybe someone sitting near me will think I am a loonie but they don’t know what I know, and I keep those treasures of my love in my heart.

Happy Anniversary Bob.
See you when I get there.
Love,
Your Tosseeee!